Lesson 1 for those of you in unsigned bands hoping to get review coverage and notice in the music industry – first impressions are key. And no I’m not just talking about the fact that the first 30 seconds of your first song should be killer (that’s a no brainer folks) but it’s the little things, like the look-n-feel of your packaging. Some bands subscribe to the notion that they should put airplane size bottles of booze in there (awesome and much appreciated, keep ‘em coming!), others have cute 8×10 press cuts (yawn, please no more brick wall photos, thanks!), and then the inventive take it from the very first look – what and how you pack your music that’s sent via the mail. Get Laid nailed it – excuse the pun. Not only did they use Simpsons stamps, which is universally noted as ‘awesome’ but they put their vinyl in a decorated package. Going that extra mile means the world and shows that you really REALLY want folks to open it up to see what surprises lay inside. “Pretty Weathered” is a female-fronted proto-punk, spazz, and crusty indie rock outfit that deploys intriguing stop-and-go guitar chugs while firmly nodding to their hardcore brethren. “Decca A.D.” is oddly a B-side but could be their lead track. Easily mistaken for D.C. era post-hardcore and dare I say, emocore, Get Laid is one up-and-comer that everyone worth their salt in the music biz and Regular Joes who just want to be in the know for the next best band. Love it.
These are the endearing stories that makes being a music reviewer that much more rewarding. Jon Troast is a paycheck-to-paycheck musician who recently completed a 100 Concerts in 100 Days tour, performing in gracious people’s living rooms. The album is a melting pot of Americana, pop-rock, folk, and indie singer/songwriter fare. Blessed with earnest lyrics with working-collar melodies, Jon Troast’s “Living Room” is a testament that struggling musicians can get by if they try hard enough, self-promote the right way, and frankly get out there and perform in front of people. Oh did I mention he doesn’t plan on charging for his shows in 2010, but just will rely on album sales alone to get by? So what are you waiting for? Help a man out and be rewarded with gift of strong songwriting and the wordplay of a true traveling minstrel.
I wish I could have found the cover art for this album somewhere, because on it, Jes Falcon does his best Mick Jagger pouty lip impression and it prepares you for exactly how horrid “Purest Falcon” is. Well I hope the photo that I did find of Jes Falcon does it some amount of justice. Just go to his site for more hilarity and potential mockery. The “singer”/”songwriter” (that’s in heavy, HEAVY quotes) is based out of Amsterdam, I have one wee suggestion for Mr. Falcon – please find the nearest “coffee” shop and do a lot of drugs. I can’t emphasize the importance of this action for the rest of your “career”. And when you think you’re sobering up or gearing up to try to write more music just go back. You need to forget that your music ever existed and was ever written – I know I certainly hope to and quickly. I actually think I need to give my eardrums a bath in alcohol after listening to “Purest Falcon”. Maybe this was his idea of a joke? Now that X-Mas is gone, I’m bummed that I don’t have the opportunity to bestow what would perhaps be the world’s best gag gift onto anyone. Ah well there’s also next year!
Rotten Bark – Chillin’ Out (Teenage Love Story) Part 1
Dear unsigned bands, do NOT ever send your material, unsolicited or otherwise, requiring a signature. That will just piss off whomever is in receipt of your package. And to open it up to find a plea that they need help from people just like myself, is well, hilariously ironic. But despite the aggravation of my mailman giving me warning slip after warning slip regarding signature, I promised to listen with an open-mind. Good thing I did! Polish pop-punk that is in the vein of California sunny pop-punk you’d hear at any mall or skate park. The EP is short at only three-songs but very strong nevertheless, perhaps strong enough to even get them signed to an indie label at some point soon. The single is “Chillin’ Out (Retarded Knight)” and at sub-three minutes is perfect for the attention span deficit mall punk fans out there. The recording is spot-on, sounding extremely professional, and yes they sing in English; also their harmonies are ridiculously catchy with nice foot-stomping rhythms – pretty much everything that a great pop-punk band needs in their favor. Definitely not something incredibly new by any stretch but in this genre, does it really matter?
Listen to their cover of Blink 182’s “First Date” at YouTube. Is it really a surprise that they’d cover Blink 182 (that’s a rhetorical question for those of you sucking down the cough syrup a bit too much these days).
’s “First Date” at 
