Reviews of Movies, Videos, DVDs, Film
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Chiodos
Perhaps no one can explain the sheer ferocity and timid quietness it is better than when vocalist Craig Owens says “we don’t want to let the kids down” when discussing the group’s intense vocals live at shows. Well they never let a single kid down with their vicious assault on the ears and grip on the jugular...
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Skinny Puppy - Mythmaker
Converge - No Heroes
The Graduate - Anhedonia
Death By Stereo - Death Alive
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Limbeck - Limbeck
WinterKids - Memoirs
03.09.2007 by J-Sin
Reviews of Movies, Videos, DVDs, Film
Fuck — DVD Buy it at Amazon
A documentary all about the f-word? You betcha. While the movie certainly tries to take a bit of a stand in terms of where they stand in terms of censorship (why else make a movie documenting the mother of all curses?), they show both sides even having the absurd Pat Boone discuss how instead of cussing he uses the word “Boone”—obviously he doesn’t sense the irony that the reason you utter a curse is why it’s bad, not the ‘word’. Alan Keyes and members of so-called family groups speak their mind about how atrocious bad language is and ‘blah blah’ about the ‘children’. Dispelling the urban legends on how the word came about the documentary even tracks that the word was used in a poem in the 1400s as well as showing up in several other scripts later on. So yeah, no ‘Fornicate Under the Consent of the King’ anymore please.
- J-Sin
Serum — DVD Buy it at Amazon
Sometimes watching a horror movie just to watch a horror movie is a bad idea. I’m down with “B movies” but this was a little ridiculous. A horribly written script that finds a doctor trying to find a ‘cure all’ serum, that he clearly decides needs to use brain fluid (from a living person) as the secret special ingredient, on his just-hit-by-a-car-and-paralyzed nephew. This serum turns his nephew into a monster cannibal zombie sort of creature. The special effects are terrible in this direct-to-video ‘movie’.
- J-Sin
Brick — DVD Buy it at Amazon
Well after five minutes of this “brainy” movie I wanted to put a rake on the ground and step on it so it would bang into my skull. I would repeat this until I passed out obviously. The movie was supposed to be intelligent film noir about a teenager that enters the underground of his high school to figure out the disappearance/murder of his ex-girlfriend; instead you just want him and everyone else to die.
- J-Sin
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning — DVD Buy it at Amazon
The brutal horror titan is back with another entry that director Jonathan Liebesman should be proud of. Michael Bay produced the film along with Tobe Hooper so it’s no surprise that the gore factor is off the hilt. Impressive acting with R. Lee Emery playing one mean son-of-a-bitch, just completes this surprise. Horror buffs and noobs to the genre alike will enjoy this one. This is a definite must-see.
- J-Sin
Wassup Rockers — DVD Buy it at Amazon
Larry Clark, he of “Kids”, “Bully”, “Teenage Caveman”, and “Another Day in Paradise”, completes yet another teen movie of hard-luck gritty kids that feels very much like a documentary. His movies always tend to not have traditional plots but rather seem to be following around a gang of teens throughout their day-to-day routines and life. Often showcasing kids who seemingly have no parental influence, Clark’s films are perhaps more like reality than any ‘reality television’ show is. Here a Hispanic group of skaters in South Central L.A. travel to Hollywood and Beverly Hills to skateboard and mingle with the super-rich and powerful as they try to make their way home. Seemingly not dazed by any of the misfortunes that they’ve been handed, whether it’s getting treated poorly by cops, fighting with other kids, or even having one of their fellow friends shot to death, this group of kids showcases what urban life is like for many thousands of children growing up in the ghettos of our biggest cities. I look forward to Clark’s next film and don’t buy into the hype that his movies are all about stereotypes because they’re not anymore stereotypical than real life is.
- J-Sin
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest — DVD Buy it at Amazon
If an award would go out for the longest ‘family’ movie of the year, then this would win hands down. “Dead Man’s Chest” is the follow-up to the first “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie and is just as gripping, funny, and engaging as the first. Johnny Depp once again wins everyone’s hearts over with his aloof portrayal of pirate Jack Sparrow. Honestly there were a few parts with the undead pirates that might not be appropriate for anyone under the age of say 10 or 9 or something, but for the most part this rather dark movie was family-friendly. The action sequences are awesome and definitely edge-of-the-seat worthy, with the huge squid definitely taking the cake. Again the script was tightly written and the film was superbly cast with excellent make-up and effects rounding it out. The only real issue I had with the film was that it seemed to drag near the end, you can see plot points coming a mile away and you’re just sitting there tapping your feet impatiently awaiting the impending scene. That was also a surprise given that the movie is geared towards the ultra impatient and ultimate attention deficits—kids. But when it grabs you, it really holds on tight so expect the excitement for the end of the trilogy to be massive.
- J-Sin
Miami Vice — DVD Buy it at Amazon
I have to admit that this movie totally took me by surprise. I had no idea that it wasn’t just going to be another action blast with bad puns and terrible acting. I guess I should have known better when I found out that Michael Mann (“Collateral”, “Heat”, “The Insider”, “The Last of the Mohicans”) was directing it. Starring Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell (an Irish dude with long hair and a mustache with an incredibly great American accent is one helluva badass), “Miami Vice” is a tough leathered film that dares to do many things right all at the same time. Absolutely stellar cinematography mixed with amazing cut-scenes, really good acting, and of course bad-ass action scenes. The movie is quite striking in its presentation layer as there are beautiful sunsets, great scenes of Cuba, Latin America, and southern Florida. Don Johnson was not missed...
- J-Sin
See No Evil — DVD Buy it at Amazon
Wow the WWE (also to us old schoolers known forever as the WWF, the hell with Wildlife!) has a film company now. Following in the footsteps of MTV, these wrestling dudes now can put out classic action movies that guys that love seeing their heroes hit other dudes over the heads with folding chairs will appreciate. The first up is “See No Evil”, a movie starring the scary and foreboding Kane, who was known (at least when I watched wrestling) as the Undertaker’s twin brother whose body was scarred and burnt beyond belief because the Undertaker was smoking out behind a shed and tossed a lit cigarette into some hay (or some drama like that). Whew! Well Kane, and this movie were both a pretty damn good surprise. Sort of like when you’d be watching some crazy wrestling match on pay-per-view and all of a sudden the Big Show would show up and the music would go off and the place would go bonkers. Totally brutal edgy horror violence about a crazed madman (Kane obviously, you didn’t think he’d play anyone OTHER than the villain did you?), that was directed by Gregory Dark (who is know mostly for his music videos, soft-core movies, and TV spots) who also is another surprise with a gritty mind-fuck of a horror flick. While the movie didn’t seem to garner much attention outside of perhaps hardcore WWE fans and some horror fans, it will prove to be quite worthwhile to anyone outside of those circles who appreciates a little blood, a massive killer, and a twist plot. Pick it up for sure for a late Friday night encounter of the eerie and spooky.
- J-Sin
Slither — DVD Buy it at Amazon
Icky blood worms from outer space who inhabit your body and make you into a zombie! A paper-thin plot that is so unbelievably awesome, you won’t believe that you’re watching a ‘low-budget’ horror flick at all. Sure it borrows from other past horror movies but who cares, this is just too much fun. There’s plenty of sight gags but it’s mostly about the gory blood—which you can learn how to make via the bonus features on the DVD. The crowd that loves movies that don’t mind being very ‘b’ will love it but so would anyone with an open mind in the mainstream too. Gregg Henry (“Payback”, “Femme Fatale”) is a great pompous ass mayor while Michael Rooker (“The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay”, “The Replacement Killers”, “The 6th Day”) plays Grant Grant (yes I got that right) who is inhabited by the beast from space and starts going on a raw meat eating binge. Crazy I know!
- J-Sin
X-Men: The Last Stand — DVD Buy it at Amazon
Oh comic book movies. How undoubtedly predictable and bland you can be. Fortunately, “X-Men: The Last Stand” isn’t nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Main characters actually die! But I won’t ruin who they are, though I’m sure you can figure it out. The question now is, will they ACTUALLY make a fourth movie? Does “X-Men” have enough momentum for that? I think so, and I’m pretty sure a bunch of Hollywood big-shots think so too. I guess I’ll have to rent that one too.
- J-Sin
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