Feature Articles

2004 Wrap-Up

2004 was an important year in a whole slew of arenas, whether you're thinking in terms of entertainment or politics, social justice or culture wars, and comedy or big news stories. We try to brief everyone up on this big year with our 2004 wrap-up and even diss Brittany Spears for her stupid fashion accessories.

Best 10 Music Releases
My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge (Read our review)
Keane - Hopes and Fears (Read our review)
Statistics - Leave Your Name (Read our review)
Skinny Puppy - Greater Wrong of the Right (Read our review)
Lovedrug - Pretend You're Alive (Read our review)
Codeseven - Dancing Echoes / Dead Sounds (Read our review)
The Snake The Cross The Crown - Mander Salis (Read our review)
Dieselboy - The Dungeonmaster's Guide (Read our review)
Various Artists - Genocide In Sudan (Read our review)
Tiesto - Just Be (Read our review)


Best Indie Release No One Has Heard Of
Time of Orchids - Early As Seen In Pace (Read our review)
Runner-Up: Genghis Tron - Cloak of Love (Read our review)


Most Exciting New Band
Keane. Not only are they the best British import this year but they've quickly been making well-deserved waves in the mainstream. Scuttling guitar-centric rock as a piano-led trio, this is one of those bands who can consistently turn in great songwriting filled to the brim with catchy hooks and stellar melodies. (See our feature)

Runner-Up: Statistics. Able to deliver sonic-laden hooks wrapped in an indie-rock package with the best of them. Somehow this band is still under most people's radar, which is a shame because if you have two ears you MUST hear this band now--though it is admittedly the work of only one artist. (See our feature)


Best DJ
DJ Tiesto. No other DJ has ever opened for The Olympics in front of billions of people. But despite the pressure, Tiesto turned in a stellar performance much like he does at his residencies and throughout the world's clubs. He also was able to turn in some great production work in the studio with his Nyana and Just Be albums. He's also consistently been #1 on all the major DJ lists out there.


Runner-Up - DJ Paul Van Dyk. He also is a huge international DJ who is not just a master behind the turntables but is also a studio wizard. His "Reflections" album was well received among clubbers and critics alike. His 2002 Mayday performance is by far one of the best live DJ sets ever heard.


Best 10 Movies
Fahrenheit 9/11 - Because it influenced the election, this was one of the most talked about movies for better or worse. I choose better since the documentary was a great representation of the view of the left and anti-war factions that are an under-represented minority in America. Some of the footage that Michael Moore was able to get was absolutely fantastic. (Read our review)
Team America - The guys from South Park turn in an absolute must-see. It is a guarantee to offend anyone and everyone in some way or the other. But only if you take it too seriously. Besides it's puppets! (Read our review)
Supersize Me - Great documentary on fast-food in which the director starts a diet of only-McDonalds to see what kind of affect it will have on his body's health. (Read our review)
Collateral - Jamie Foxx stole the show from Tom Cruise whose portrayal as a ruthless killer is totally on mark. (Read our review)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Another fine performance by Jim Carrey in this visually astounding concept film written by one of the great maestros of screenplays. (Read our review)
Dawn of the Dead - This remake of a classic horror film will soon be a classic itself. The special effects alone are worth the view. (Read our review)
Saved - Who would have thought that this movie would have been this good? But seeing the king of Home Alone crippled isn't the only worthwhile aspect of this hilarious take on super-Christianized culture.
Mean Girls - Another great comedy by the only person in Saturday Night Live that has any real talent, Tina Fey. (Read our review)
Elephant - A superb film that parallels the horrors of Columbine and really puts you in the feet of the teens. Outstanding drama. (Read our review)
Bush's Brain - In the year of the political documentary, this was a stand-out. It ruthlessly covers the evil that is Karl Rove. (Read our review)


Best Television Show
Lost. By the creator of Alias, this new dramatic thriller series delves into the bizarre but is able to stay mainstream enough not to fall into the trap of Twin Peaks. Each week is a yet another compelling story and offers a unique twist. Absolute must-see TV.

Runner-Up: The Wire. This HBO dramatic series revolves around Baltimore, MD and encircles its police force while offering plot twists from local drug gangs and their ilk. Stirring and highly addictive. If you haven't seen it yet, then be sure to set your Tivo for it.


Most Important Figure in Entertainment
Jon Stewart. His fake news program, "The Daily Show" has a waiting list of approximately six months to get tickets to see one of comedy's premier acts. His quick wit and savvy are only bested by his knowledge of the media and politics. His hand in writing "America" also showcases his great comedic writing ability. While his stand-up routines are rare and far in-between, when he performs live, he's charismatic and more populist than the right-wingers give him credit for. Not just funny he's also incredibly intelligent, even battling the pundits at their own game as evidenced by his strong beratement of CNN's "Crossfire" hosts.

Runner-Up: Bill Maher. His old show "Politically Incorrect" has become a distant memory as his new show "Real Time with Bill Maher" on HBO is making his name even more popular (or hated depending on your viewpoint). He never holds back his opinion but is always fair enough to present both viewpoints at the discussion table--an art that the majority on the right side of the political spectrum are wary to try out. His stand-up routines are classic as was his book "When you ride ALONE you ride with bin Laden".

Best Books
The 9/11 Commission Report: Final Report of the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States The 9/11 Commission's Report was not just popular on the bookshelves, but it detailed an outline of what precisely happened on 9/11. While they do not delve as deeply as they should have into some of the oddities that the Internet community had brought up, this commission worked hard to put out a tremendous volume that will cast aside comparisons to the Warner Commission's findings. Certainly the most important historical documents put out this year and arguably this decade.
Runner-Up: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction The Daily Show's Jon Stewart and their writing team come up with this hilarious take on America in the old fashioned text-book format. Not only is it funny but it makes poignant observations about America's culture and societal taboos. Besides anyone brave enough to put the Supreme Court in their book naked is either extremely hilariously daring or just plain nuts. We like to the think the former.


Best Political Group
MoveOn.org. MoveOn.org helped transform the way that progressive politics worked in the '04 election by helping utilize the power of blogs and the Internet to raise money for political campaigns. They were able to successfully push their agenda into the mainstream media more so than all the Democrats put together. They look to continue to be one of the most important institutions in our Nation's Capitol.

Runner-Up: Center for American Progress. The Center for American Progress puts out a daily newsletter showcasing the GOP and Bush administration's faults. They've helped create awareness in progressive circles and are now among the elite liberal-oriented groups in Washington.


Politic's Most Exciting Figure
Senator Barak Obama of Illinois. Tons of hype surrounded the Democratic Party's newest hero and elected member of Congress. He's the Tiger Woods of politics and hasn't even served a single term in the Senate yet. People are already whispering about a Hillary/Barak ticket for 2008. I wouldn't hold my breath but any fresh air in the opposition party will result in a sigh of relief.

Runner-up: Senator Chris Dodd of Connecticut. Never have I heard a person capable of capturing an entire audience's attention better than Senator Dodd. Not only is he well-spoken but he fights for what he believes in. Though he didn't become the new Minority Leader, his voice will be a prominant one in the Democratic Party.


Worst 10 Movies
Passion of the Christ - Not only was this movie over-hyped, it brought on this big fervor of a culture war. It wasn't completely accurate either (note the lack of the correct depiction of Christ's hands being nailed to the cross--it was his wrists not his hands, Mel!) Instead of uniting people it just created divisions and using religion to that end, is unforgivable. Please go back to the days of Braveheart and Lethal Weapon, Mr. Gibson. (Read our review)
Van Helsing - What a waste of two hours of anyone's time. If you saw this, you'll die knowing that you spent two precious hours wasting your brain's juice on such crap. (Read our review)
Species III - They shouldn't have even made a second one. If you like naked women, that's the only redeeming feature of this drag of a sci-fi "film". (Read our review)
The Big Bounce - Considering it's ensemble cast you would have thought this would have been a great movie. But it's mired in mediocrity. (Read our review)
Hellboy - It was so bad I didn't even waste time reviewing it. Come on Ron Perlman you're better than that.
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation - The first one was good and was done tongue-in-cheek. Apparantly the director of this one, didn't get it. (Read our review)
The Village - M. Night Shyamalan delivers another predictable twist-ending. The fact that he used some lame Sci-Fi Channel documentary to spin up publicity about the movie lands it here.
Spiderman 2 - It was pretty much action/adventure filler. And that's it. And Kirsten Dunst wasn't even in an alley while it was raining this time. Worth a rental, I guess.
Coffee and Cigarettes - Overall not a really bad movie and quite an interesting concept film but some of the individual sections are bad enough that it was overall disappointing and fitting of being in this list. What a shame. (Read our review)
SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 - This is a sequel? Oh my.


Biggest Loser
Sen. John Kerry, the Democratic Party, and progressives. Obviously the defeat at the hands of Karl Rove's George W. Bush in 2004 was the biggest loss imaginable. Here's a president who's presided over the biggest national tragedy since Pearl Harbor, has lost millions of jobs, created a health care crisis, ruined America's reputation abroad, has had thousands of people (civilians and soldiers included) killed for no reason, and can't even say "nuclear". The Democrats had everything going for them with the exception of political intelligence and balls. They dropped the ball on what should have been the easiest to win election and then let down millions by cutting their losses quickly and sticking their tail between their legs. The real question is will they continue their losing streak into '06.

Runner-Up: The FCC and the RIAA. The FCC led by Michael Powell has transfixed the entire American television audience with their rampant fines that they impose after one or two form letters are sent to them several hundred times. Despite their obvious partisan overtures, no one in Congress has attempted to stop their pre-broadcast censorship and post-broadcast upheavals that were evidenced in the supposed cry-out over a "Monday Night Football" gaffe as well as the "Super Bowl" and Fox "whipped cream" incidents. Obviously American society desires these sorts of programs but rather than be populist, the FCC commits itself to overtures of the most partisan nature. The RIAA is so wrapped up in prosecuting those that illegally swap music that they've lost the real focus, which is to help artists make a living. Instead of trying to help out all the struggling artists out there, they concentrate on their biggest money makers like Eminem, Puff Daddy, and Metallica. The RIAA doesn't offer much to those struggling to get their CDs promoted on sites like CDBaby whatsoever and is yet another corporate lobbying group for the super-connected.

Least Amount of Talent
Ashleigh Simpson, JayZ, and Beyonce. Yes, that's right a three-way tie. Ashleigh Simpson tried to ride on her sister's coattails by releasing an album that was received luke-warm at best. Her talentless display was on red-alert when she was caught lip-syncing on Saturday Night Live. Jay-Z not only lacks in the musical department but has successfully travelled down the path formerly presided by Puff Daddy by creating hype and an aura of superiority that helps him win over the easily subdued lambs known as American youth. His recent promotion to Def Jam after "retiring" from the music business shows how much of a vacuum mainstream hip-hop has become. Beyonce gets all the props in the world from people who fear crossing this once leader of Destiny's Child, but she gets no props because of any talent she may possess. Not only is her musical talent completely lacking but she can't act and her supposed best attribute is her rear. So three equalling lame people who have more money than they ever deserve.

Runner-Up: Paris Hilton. She can at least intrigue the perverts out there with her "steamy" sex tape done in night vision. Her dumb reality show "The Simple Life" was all a big set-up and her fashion lines leave something to be desired. Yet the US Weekly's out there continue to follow her around like good little puppies as if America really cares about this big spoiled rich bitch. The episode on South Park making fun of her was perhaps the best thing with her name on it.

Stupidest Reality Show
Wife Swap: Meet Your New Mommy. The title alone wins it the award. But the show itself showcases how low America is willing to go. Considering the '04 election's supposed "moral values" clause, it's a surprise that shows like this exist. Then again, the whole "moral values" thing was a cover-up for bigotry in the first place. American's are still fascinated with utter rubbish on the boob tube.

Runner-Up: The Apprentice. The only thing more offensive than the show is Donald Trump's hair. Trump is an arrogant self-centered pile and should spend less time on television and more time fixing his going-bankrupt company. The competition was pretty stiff here with all the crappy television reality shows but this show takes the cake of dumb.

Stupidest Promotion
"Can you hear me now?". Easily one of the most annoying set of commercials ever to hit the airwaves. The fact that it's pummelled into our eardrums on every channel known to man makes me never want to buy their products ever.

Runner-Up: Cialis's commercials. Just the disclaimer that says you should consult a physician if you have an erection for over four hours alone gives it the nod. But when you couple that with the notion that we as humans can spend time and energy and money solving an old man's erectile dysfunction but not figure out how to cure breast cancer or AIDS shows how truly disgusting our species has become.

Stupidest Media "News Story"
The Laci Peterson Trial. Most of the evidence was circumstantial at best but the American public kept their eyes glued to their CNN crawl to find out the latest. What about the babies that are left to die in dumpsters? What about our faltering economy or the lies that let us to war? What about the soldiers dying in Iraq with no armor on their vehicles? These stories are too hard for American mainstream journalists to "sell" so they prefer crap like this. The implications of the verdict is yet another stepping stone towards outlawing abortion. Ugh.
Runner-Up: Kobe Bryant Almost Trial. Another hyper-story that resulted in no trial. Did he rape her? Was he innocent? Does it really matter to the masses? No. This trial should have been about what happened but instead the American public yet again foamed at the mouth to see one of their "heros" fall. Maybe one day our media will actually cover something that affects each and every one of our lives rather than this Hollywood nonsense.

Lamest Fashion Accessory
Trucker Hats. They're dumb. Ashton Kutcher wears them (or wore them, maybe they're out among those dating 40-year old women). They were supposed to make you indie or more cool than thou. Now they look silly since they're available in Hot Topic. Give the tractor-trailer drivers back their hard-fought fashion folks.

Runner-Up: Lance Armstrong Yellow Bracelets and Kabbalah Bracelets. Yes, I'm well aware they're for a good cause. But when people are selling them way over margin and not giving the money to the charity it was supposed to support in the first place it's lame. Besides, the USPS shouldn't be sponsoring Lance Armstrong's races, they should be sponsoring their pension plans. Also, you can't be "into" Kabbalah and be a slutty whore at the same time. So Brittany, Ashton, Madonna, please stop it. Religion isn't a fad. Get yourself a beret or a monocle and start a cooler trend, ya shizzes, or in the case of Brittany just marry a redneck--that's plenty of an accessory for you.



So that's our wrap up of 2004. We hope you agree. And if you don't, we probably don't care. But feel free to let us know what you think.